isaa-c

2011-10-17T21:06:00.002+08:00

it wasn't easy to make that decision, it wasn't easy for me to handle and bear all these. but i know clearly i cannot be selfish. it really hurts when i told you to leave, but you just don't seems to know that im hurting. i guess its still the best if i bear the wrongs, bear the faults, and bear the blames, it should be this way. i never wanted to treat you coldly, i swear, but i just have to. i don't wanna keep giving you false hope, keep giving any wrong intentions. so many times i wanted to tell you, stay, please, but i can't, because i was the one who asked you to leave. i guess you feel that i no longer love you anymore, and im just finding excuses or reasons to push you away, but that's not really the fact... no point explaining anymore, doesn't make a difference at all now. so many things i wish i could tell you, but yet its all choked at my mouth... i guess this is how it is, all along, me being alone, me being single, i guess that's the best for me. i just hope one day, you would really understand my difficulties, and how much it hurts when i see you go because it was me who told you to, how much i wanted you but yet i pushed you away. my life is in a major mess, and bringing you into it is just plain selfish, be happy, that's the only thing i want you to be.

im sorry i came into you life, walk into your heart, and leave the next second.

im sorry i messed up your life, leaving it a mess without any rights.

im sorry i broke the trust and love you gave me.

im sorry i can't express how i feel even till now.

im sorry i can't fulfill the promises i made.

sorry, sillygirl.

2011-09-01T23:18:00.002+08:00

life's been going up and down, one moment i can be happy, and the other moment being sad. tired, really really tired, by fyp, killing me totally. seems like there is never ending work to do, and no matter how hard i try, its just not enough. really need someone there for me, whenever im tired, someone for me to lean on, when im down, someone to just listen to me, im a human after all, i need to channel my emotions out.

2011-07-03T03:39:00.002+08:00

Have you?

not an emo post, just a sudden thought, not lingering in the past anymore, just curious.

2011-02-20T13:37:00.001+08:00

reached out to you, but all i get is a shove in my shoulder.

shouldn't have cared so much, causing me to suffer now.

2011-01-07T22:54:00.000+08:00

Cherish;

Hello! Haven't been blogging lately, partially tired and busy, but more of lazy! HAHA! well, school just reopen-ed, got back commontest results, not really satisfied but overall its still acceptable (: well, 2010 just ended, learned alot in that year, met alot of new people, lost close friends, but well, i guess life just needs to go on, nothing will ever stop for you, so we just have to face reality and move on. 2011 will be a stressful year i guess, year 3 and stuffs, gonna put most of my focus on studies, others can wait! well, this is just gonna be a short post, promise to blog again soon, BYE! ANNEYEONG!

i'm better now, smiling more and more. I hope one day we would return to before, talk like

no tomorrow, be the best of friends, and that will be great, i'll always be there for you, a call/text away,

promise to be there when you need me! (:

2010-10-22T22:25:00.006+08:00

Motorway Building/NETS

had been working for the whole of my holidays, kindof no life, but i enjoyed it (: people i met there are awesome, deciding whether to work part time during weekends during school terms.

met some new friends there, they are just awesome, super awesome, and most of them happened to be ngee ann poly students too eh! yea, so thats life during holidays, nothing much, nothing special, but im satisfied about it (: ohyah! and i met up with 4e4 peeps too, its awesome tooooooo, its been ages since that many of us gathered together, certainly brings back times when we are still studying in wgs (; few more days to school reopen, not really sure how im feeling about it, but oh well, gonna strive harder this sem, for sure (:

down till the end its still you.

so in the end, nothing changed,

situation is still as bad as before.

sigh.

2010-09-09T05:06:00.002+08:00

Night;

exams ended, means the start of holidays. but this holiday don't seems to be the one i was looking forward to. happen to know one of my module's overall result, not the one i was hoping for, really disappointed, guess i never got anything right eh? everything is not going well for me, don't like the situation i'm in now. on a bright side, i managed to do something i've been hoping for finally, was really happy that day (: well, 5.10am now, still not sleepy, shall go watch Invincible Youth then, BYE!

meeting you took me alot of courage, i'm happy that i had the courage to do that,

that few hours was really great, guess this will also be the last time where there will be only 2 of us,

made some decision myself, some related to you and some not, like what others have commented about me,

they feel that i've changed, i agree, but i just don't know what changed me, hope to find out soon.

i guess not many people will like the changed me.

2010-07-21T23:38:00.004+08:00

SNSD! ♥

HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI! been busy lately, actually not really busy also, HAHA. alot of things to look forward to, genting trip at august with SiDAng! and exams, yea, looking forward to exams, i wanna finish my diploma quick, end my poly life! hectic days for like 2 or 3 weeks already, quite tired and worn out, only tuesdays are for me to rest, revisions must start early, i wanna get good results! been crazy over k-pop recently! SNSD AH! SNSD FIGHTING! AHAHA! 9am class tomorrow morning, ahhhhhhhhhh >; gonna have an early night tonight i guess, goodnightttttt!

given up on everything, given up faith, given up hope.

i hope this would help myself, this would make me go back to before,

atleast more cheerful then now.

so i guess back to my old life, studies, home, sleep.

boring, simple, but atleast there is no sadness and tears.

2010-06-23T02:05:00.002+08:00

나가 깨달은 일에서 당신을 나는 당신을 위해 넘어졌다는 것을 다는 것을 사랑해 나는 정지가 결코 이제까지 있다, 만일 당신이 누구를에게 말하는 필요로 하면 당신을 즐겁게해 유지하기 위하여 당신이 반환에서 따로 잇기에, 정당할, 누구, 나 무엇이든이, 당신은 행복하다 정당한 희망 예상할 것을 결코 있을 가지 않을 때까지 나는 항상 온라인으로 체재하는 것을 시도한다, 나는 당신을 위해, 다만 같이, 수호 천사 거기 항상 있을 것이다.

사랑해요, 영원히

2010-06-03T01:14:00.003+08:00

LIES;

you once told me,

you would be there 24/7 for me,
you would be my listening ear,
you would be there when i need you,
you would be the one missing me damn much,

down till the end, all lies, every single one of them, sad to say, i believed in every single one of them, yes i am silly, stupid, foolish, or whatever you think, but i open my heart wide, believe you with no doubts, in the end, i got myself broken once again. i made a hard decision, but things turn out worst, yes i cried, no big deal to you, but to me, it shows that i truly got broken into pieces once again, you were the one who encourage me to forget everything and try to start anew, but you were also the one pushing me down to the bottom of the pit. you never knew how important you are to me, my bad for not telling, but you can't blame me, cause you told me you had another him.

saw that album, my heart shattered when i saw them,
i wanted to vent those sadness out, but in the end,
i am doing something like before, stuffing myself with gummy bears,
i wanted to tear, but i kept it from rolling down my cheek,
i guess im back to who i were 3 tears ago, alone, hurt, dead.

2010-05-31T20:33:00.002+08:00

Spiral Staircase;

everything just seems to be going downhill, studies, relation with parents, mentally tired, but who to tell? who to share? whatever i say or do, they don't seems to change the situation, my hardwork, no one sees it, everyone are just looking at me with that stupid impression, no one believes that i put in effort for something. i'm working hard to change every wrong in my life, but no matter what i do, how much i've done, it just stays the same. i cried when i arguing with dad, not because he reprimanded me, its because i don't have his trust. he speaks with disbelief in me, i felt very hurt, but who knows about this? who understands? i'm lacking family warmth, no one knows, that thinking of mine, its coming again, maybe this time, i should really follow it, like what i said to myself before. let everything die, including me.

i tried numbing myself by studying, but in the end, i dropped tears on my worksheets
so many things are just making me go crazy, yes i'm emo, but have you ever wondered what
made me so? i think about stuffs deeper then anyone, i see matter more seriously then anyone,
who knows or understands me? no one.

2010-05-24T21:26:00.002+08:00

Fireworks;

love is like fireworks, pretty, colorful, amazing at its first sight, but after a few seconds, everything changes. everything will return to normal, return to that dull black sky. i think love is exactly the same as this, wonderful initially, bitter towards the end. feelings for someone are also like fireworks, come and go really fast. how i wished that firework would stay, i'm just sick and tired of the current situation, tired and worn out. don't tell me you know how i feel, cause you don't, i'm sure of it, you're not me, you won't understand how it really feels.

your hot and cold, your give and take, i am being killed by it softly,
you won't know a thing, cause you don't even bother about it,
perhaps its me who is the one giving myself false hope, perhaps it really is.

2010-05-19T19:40:00.002+08:00

somethings can never be the same again;

yea just like that picture, i can't be an perfect heart because of the crack, just like in our life, somethings will never be the same as before, people do change, after this and that, we change. i understand we cannot force stuffs to be the way we want it to, so, yea, sometimes we have to force ourselves to the choice we hate most. nevermind, this will be a lesson for me, i hope i learn from this, i've gone through 3 years without it, another 3 years wont be a problem, i believe it wont be (:

yes, i am tired of everything already, let everything die, let everything stop,
but not me, cause i am giving it all up, not gonna touch all these again,
for the sake of my own, (:

2010-05-16T02:36:00.002+08:00

Changes;

i guess everything does change huh? no matter from good to bad, or the other way round. i believe changes do have impact, good or bad, for you to decide. everything around me started to change, no matter in what area, i feel the changes, most of them are bad ones, i dislike the changes i am experiencing now, makes me feel insecure, anytime things would change again. i wish things stay at it is, i would be able to adapt to the bad things around me, and enjoy the good ones. so stop changing, will you?

what can i do when you always change, hot and cold,
i don't like it, seriously, it's making me suffer, i hate this treatment.
be true to me, i've prepared to make a decision, now its your turn.

2010-05-07T00:32:00.002+08:00

Happy Family;

wished i had one, but sadly i don't. life's a bitch to make me come to this family. so cold, and not a single love felt for the whole of 18 years in my entire life. problem arise, its always me who solve it, who to take the blame? without a doubt its me, its always been like this. every single of you in this family are responsible of who i am now, fakers, that is the word to describe all 3 of you. one day I'll end my life, don't doubt, it would be because of you 3.

what can i do when things turns out this way, forget it, i might as well just fucking end my life.

2010-05-02T16:02:00.002+08:00

Iron Man 2;

Caught this movie with Mingyuan and Desmond, its nice, enjoyed the movie (: before movie was at 515 with cliques, just chatting and crapping, after the movie headed back to 515 to join them, more talking and gossips. Walked home with Cherie and Dickson, but decided to go find Mingyuan and Desmond instead since we have nothing to do, we chatted, and headed home at around 7.40am, slept at around 8am and just woke up, it was nice day yesterday, i like it (: awwww crap, its monday again tomorrow ):

i am gonna lead my life happily, trying means and ways to brighten
up my life, thanks my friends, who are always cheering me up (Y)
i am happy and grateful that i have friends like them, i will be happy, i believe. :D:D

2010-04-30T01:30:00.002+08:00

New hair color;

ahhhhhhhhh, hair's color faded already, now its more to blonde. Second week of school, can feel the stress in me now, modules are getting tougher and tougher, and i just get more and more blur about it, i need to buck up already! oh, and i have an interesting new nickname call car-si, invented by jiaxuan, third week of school is coming, sigh!

we are more of like hi-bye friends now, i don't wanna be this kind of friends,
can we be friends that atleast talk or chat? or atleast share stuffs on msn?
i don't hope for more, just these will do. just hope things will get better, i hope it will.

2010-04-25T01:11:00.002+08:00

Dark clouds over my sky;

At malaysia currently, nothing to do at alllllllll ): itouch died on me, out of battery, no phone signals here, forgot to bring my lappy over here, totally no entertainment. gonna get my hair cut and dyed tomorrow, hope it turns out good (: nothing to blog about alr, shall blog after tmr then, bye!

people doubt my love for you, but i hope you wont, i don't mind what others say
what you think is the most important to me. I will hold on to what i have decided
no matter what and how, this is how its gonna be, i'm gonna see myself through it.

2010-04-24T04:25:00.003+08:00

GLOW;

Lesson ended at around 5pm today, went to GLOW after class, was so-so, head over to have dinner at macs with binni and shirly, then to 515 and slacked. Reached home not long ago, gonna go rest soon! haha! bye~

thoughts filled my mind during the chitchat session i had with binni and shirly,
i realised the amount of love i have for you is getting more and more,
day by day it increases, i know it will grow till infinity,
i just know it will, believe in me, give me that little faith.

2010-04-23T00:48:00.002+08:00

Even a statue shed tears;

Even something who is not suppose to shed tears do shed them. Human can shed tears for many reasons, but how many of the reasons are positive ones? People say, for a guy to shed tear is extremely rare, and when a guy tears, it symbols weakness. Why must people see it that way? Guys are also human, they have the right to tear too, and i don't think a guy who tear is weak, instead they are strong, they are strong enough to face their true emotions. 10am class tomorrow, but gonna go school early to submit bursary stuffs. going offline now. bye!

i don't mind dropping tears because of you, i don't mind to be your last priority,
i don't mind being used by you, i don't mind everything, as long as we are able to
continue as friends, always wanted to tell you, when you need someone, i might not be the
first that comes to your mind, but when you could not get your friend,
i hope i can be one of your options. I will be whatever you want, as long as that is what you want.

2010-04-22T01:55:00.002+08:00

rainbow;

People always say, rainbows comes after rain. But not my case, i have never seen the rainbow i expect after a rain. Just hope that one day, i will see a true beautiful one, i believe its worth the wait ♥ gonna prove those who don't believe in me wrong, i will and can make it, i have faith in myself. School today was boring, pretty tired, tomorrow will be a long day too, hope its not as boring. Looking forward to Tuesdays, I&E! fun group brings motivation and enthusiasm towards the module! alright, 2am now, gonna head for my lalaland, bye!

was really elated, cause that convo we had is the longest after the awkwardness,
hope everything will continue like this, and we really will be like before,
just hope that everything goes well, never gonna stop that love, trust me.

2010-04-21T01:36:00.003+08:00

Alone;

Always had been this case, nothing special about being alone though. Cause i am used to it already. School stared, not really wonderful, but I&E today was great, enthusiastic group, we just kept on discussing and discussing. Went back home after balling with leroy and co. Thoughts starts to come to me when i am alone. Gonna turn in soon, school at 8am and meeting brenda to take shuttle bus together, bye people (:

people kept telling me, "you gave up on wooing, but not giving up on loving her, its not worth it." but to me, though its not worth it
but i am still willing to continue loving you, be it in the dark, which no one knows, i am still gonna continue.
To me its worth it, people may say i feel that way because i am in love with you now,
but i believe i won't regret this, i won't stop loving you, never ever. I have never hoped for miracle to happen,
just wished that we would return to before, and i hope that i can be the one who you share troubles with,
share joy and sorrow with, if you need people to accompany you through the night, i am willing to be the one. Just hope you know,

2010-04-19T00:42:00.002+08:00

Thanks for the night guys ;

Enjoyed the night out with you guys, its always awesome with you guys around, though im still feeling down, or rather worst, but still, thank you (: rebel was so-so that night, had scotch whiskey outside before we went in, was in the mood after we finished it, sever hangover after that night though. Well, school resumes, so i better go sleep now, bye!

getting myself drunk, thinking i would forget you for that moment, but who knows? everything got worst.
i realized how much i love you, how deep have i fell, without myself knowing, i went to cry alone.
Truth are hard to accept, but still i must, i have already told myself.
I have gave up on wooing you, but for sure, i'll never give up on loving you, not even a split microsecond.

2010-04-17T04:44:00.002+08:00

Flaw in perfection;

Did nothing much today, fishing session was canceled due to rain, so went running about in the estate. Chilled over at the usual place, had some thoughts too. One step at a time, someone told me this, true, maybe i should really follow it (: decided upon something, shall keep it to myself, quite an important decision to me, but might be insignificant to others. Hope life after this week will be better, hopefully.

hope things can be like what you said, return to normal,
get back to before, atleast this way, we both are able to chat.

really hope things will return like before,it will be better i suppose.
let me try being the ice breaker, for my own sake (:

2010-04-15T03:58:00.002+08:00

Exact feeling now;

Life ain't good for me recently, really hope it gets better. Sleepless nights and those thinking, whats got into me? Helplessly falling deeper and deeper, but what to do? This is me, i am always like this. Trying to hold myself back, trying to get a grip of myself, trying. I understand friends are there for me, but sometimes, it doesn't help, not even a single bit. I see myself, behaving this way for the next few years, not joking, i really will. And i realized, i am not as strong as what i think i am, i am far more fragile then i can ever imagine, i always thought i will be ready for everything, but i am wrong, very very wrong.

just hope that you enjoyed the meal, i can sense the awkwardness between us,
but i hope as time goes by, this will not be there, i hope,
everything will return to before, and i will be satisfied with it.

2010-04-14T04:00:00.003+08:00

rainbow tears;

At least her tears are colorful, mine are not even in black and white, for quite some time, i have been letting emotions get the better of me, i don't wanna be like this, but i can't help it. I wanna change the current situation, but there is really nothing else i can do, i need advice, i need suggestions, i need help, i need a shoulder, i need a pair of listening ear, and i need care. I keep telling myself, its just the start of the year, things will go better as days goes by, but its not. I spend the whole of last night, smoking the hell out of me, gastric rejection decide to join in the fun in making matter worst, i had the worst night of my life. I kind of like how life use to be when i was a kid, carefree and happy, but reality is, time ain't rewinding back. School's starting in few days time, hectic and busy life ahead, shall take this opportunity to temporarily get a grip of myself, losing myself is seriously horrible. I said i am willing to wait, i do, i meant everything i said, but people just doubt what i said. Lost, alone, this is what i am feeling now, day in day out, negative thoughts running through me, its a habit of mine, since young, always like this. Starting to lose confidence on myself, i don't know why. Tired of life, maybe? Ending it might be a wise choice. But for now, i am still on a slightly positive side, lets hope this continues.

wanna hear the truth from you, no matter what it is, i am ready for it.

2010-04-06T05:52:00.002+08:00

Me ; you ; stars.

Time check, 5.53am, don't know why i just can't go to sleep, well, so i decided to update my blog (: reached home not long ago, went thomson for prata and then to sembawang beach for a short chat with friends, kinda nice to have this kind of sessions, makes me feel very relaxed. Had been thinking lately, school's starting, i should really meet up those best friends whom i did not meet up for some time, you people, please be free! well, nothing much already, shall end here.

To myself : Don't back out, give it all you've got.

Feeling kinda lost lately, need to get myself back.
Happy that i finally start to give myself a little more confidence,
i hope this continues, i don't wanna be someone
who is always so negative, change for the better, i must!

2010-03-30T04:21:00.002+08:00

Sad, at myself.

Thanks Jarine for lending me your monster ear (:

Hello! ok, spend my day in an boring and simple way (: woke up in the afternoon, around 3pm or 4pm i guess? then off to 515 to meet friends at around 6pm+. Headed to Jason's house for mahjong, did not play though, just to accompany them (: played cards after that, then went 515 again with Mingyuan. The chat between us 2 was nice, its been long since we had this kind of chat. Went home and did nothing much, game + fb + msn, thats all. Alright, shall end my post here, bye peopleeeee!

Every night, before i go to sleep, i always ask myself,
why can't i just do something right? I am always hesitating,
making wrong decisions, and most of all, always an coward.
I got over kelyn, no doubt, but the phobia is still here.
No one understands how afraid i am, to touch love again.
To touch love again is something really difficult for me.
But like what i have once said, i wanna try, and will try,
but for now, i need time, and courage.
As for the things that someone told me, it really affected me,
alot i can say, although i have mental preparation, it still struck me
heavily, my mind, filled with negative thoughts again,
i know myself well,
i ain't a handsome person, in fact an ugly one,
i ain't a smart person, or rather a stupid one,
i ain't a caring person, rather a hurting one,
this is how i view myself, maybe i am worst in others eyes.
I stand no chance, this, i know very well.

2010-03-27T07:46:00.002+08:00

A little message i tell myself everyday (:

Hi people! just got home, all i can say is, the 4E4 bbq was really fun, i am happy to see most of them turning up, a little bbq like this is seriously great, but apologies to those who have to fork out so much money for transport. Went over to Nicolas's house aftermath, had a little night out sessions with some of them, its nice (: overall i really enjoyed my friday with everyone, from the marinating of food, to bbq, then the night session, enjoyed it to its fullest. Gonna have a rest soon, going out in the noon, bye!

I am happy you turned up, although i did not have the courage to do what i intended to,
But still, i am very glad, just a few words with you, is enough, seriously, thats all i need.
I hope those teasing by them did not irritate you, if they did, really sorry.
When i see you, i really have the urge to confess, but i lack the courage, but i think, you have already know by now?
My feelings for you, my thinking towards you, its for real, i don't know how to prove them,
but from the bottom of my heart, i love you.
I never ever thought so much of someone, perhaps its because i am a virgo guy,
still to me, its because of love.

P.S : you look really great today (:

2010-03-26T01:53:00.008+08:00

(Y) i like this hairstyle!

Happy Belated 19th Elaine!

Hi people! Shall start off this post with something cheerful! will be having class bbq today! and celebrated elaine's birthday on the 23rd! Saw lots of graduated woodgrovers over there, really nice to see everyone changed, to the positive side i mean. Seeing more woodgrovers later today! excited only! But on the bad sides, things ain't going well for me recently! ): went for medical checkup, results ain't good, family side, no better, and also friendship and relationship, nevermind, i believe everything will get better somehow. I have to make changes, i wanna lead a cheerful life instead of a sad one (: just ended game session, not really tired though, i think i might go and just think about stuffs. Nights people! See you guys at ECP later today!

Everything i do now, everything i say now, i think alot before i do them,
You will never know how much courage i need just to do a simple little thing,
this ain't your fault, its mine, i feel really weak and useless. I give up even before i try.
Sometimes i wonder, am i going to just use all these excuse to cover up for my cowardliness?
I hate being affect by these stuffs, but i always failed at stop thinking about it.
Someone told me, i have fallen too deep, perhaps, but i can't help it.
if i had a choice, i would wan a life without love,
without love i might get jealousy, but atleast, i won't any heartaches or sufferings.
But for now, i wanna try, for the last time, i swear its gonna be the last.

2010-03-21T15:31:00.002+08:00

Sentosa w/ friends (:

Went sentosa with friends yesterday, super fun day! (Y) enjoyed the things we played at palawan beach and also the walk around sentosa, fun ttmax! just woke up, kindof blur now, idk what to blog too, haaaaa, but still yesterday was a really fun day (:

now i am thinking, have my actions disturbed you.
that night when we talk on phone, those text i send.
if i really had been disturbing you i am really sorry,
all i want is just to stay in contact with you.
i hope i am not the one disturbing you,
i really hope so

2010-03-17T01:18:00.002+08:00

I wanna be the happy one;

hello everyone! had been blogging this few days! (Y) naise! happy with my life recently ! hahas, had been planning gathering with friends to go sentosa and also bbq at ecp! looking forward to all those ! (:

i am happy with the way we are now, don't have to progress further, cause i know its impossible.

2010-03-15T15:59:00.003+08:00

Epson .

Past 4 days have been working under epson during the IT Fair, quite fun :D get to know some new people there (Y) Though its tired, but its still fun . well, it fair ended yesterday, after that, went dinner with kianwee and his mother, thank you for the treat, kianwee's mum! Reached woodlands went to find dickson for a few puffs, talk and chat abit, then went home, onlined for awhile, and then ended my day (: am still hoping for something now though, HAHA!

Thank you for those little questions, although you don't realize it, but im really happy yesterday night. I hope this can continue, even with no further progress, i am contented already (:

2010-03-12T01:40:00.003+08:00

Good friend last a lifetime? jokee.

why is it always me, who is the one trying to salvage friendship when it turns sore? i admit i can be annoying and irritating at times, but if you guys would just voice out to me, instead of giving me attitudes and those sarcastic words, i feel better, way much better. i know i am not a good friend, i cant share wealth, trouble with you guys, i am sorry. if you think, i am not worthy of your friendship, i will kindly leave you alone, i wont be a pest, bugging you. i am sorry if i have offended any friends in the past, maybe you guys should consider whether to treat me as a friend or not, cause i am certain, i am not a good friend to have.

2010-03-06T04:02:00.002+08:00

Held.

had been rather carefree lately, sleeping and waking up at whatever time i want. But gonna head to recruit Express for a part-time job later today (: Had a rather small problem running through my head for the past week, that is, the feeling i am having for you, what is it exactly? love? or friendship? I hope i get it sort out soon. But i hope it would be love.

for once, i wanna give it my everything, to reach for that impossible romance i desire.

2010-02-18T01:32:00.002+08:00

S-T-R-E-S-S

Am leading an stressful life recently, studies mainly the cause of it. Blame myself for this, this would not have happened if i stupidly follow others actions, regretted. Nothing much i can do, but just hang on for a little until Saturday's paper. Hope i can do fine, cause doing well will be out of the picture.

i need you there, but you wasn't,
you need me there, i was.
you take all of my words like a joke.
hurting me bit by bit without knowing.
i only hope you would see me in your eyes for once.

2010-02-03T08:35:00.002+08:00

REDHEAD! 1month ago though.

HELLO! having maths tutorial now, and! my tutor went to repair his car instead of staying in class to teach us, wth! exms is just around the corner and he views his car over us ! crap, im gonna flunk maths this semester i think ): 8am-12pm today, but have to go home and study for the 3 tests est week, uber important! cannot afford to flunk those tests! exams exams, faster finish please !

2010-01-26T00:07:00.003+08:00

1015114141

if only you dont have that personality , perhaps , we would have already have our hands held , our fingers locked and out hearts as one. If only i can change that personality of yours , i am willing to be yours, for life.

2010-01-12T01:24:00.003+08:00

FRIENDSHIP

FRIENDSHIP , such a simple yet complex word , friendship can bring you happiness , sadness , or even disappointment , but all of my friendship , to me , most of them brings me sadness or disappointment , there are happiness , but is not enough to cover those bad ones. Some just need you for a certain reason , some just wanna have you as company when they have no one else . Bring fake smiles to them , not letting them know how much you really really do treasure them , whats more is that iam willing to be used by them even though i know their motive . Silly you might say , but its not a choice i can make , sometimes you cannot control such things . When you experience this kind of things in life , who can you share it with ? Other friends? They might just give you out , parents? their advice are rather useless . Certainly , i have alot of friends that i really treasure , but they don't seems to know . My bad for not saying it out to them, but to me , this need not be said out. I might be stupid to blog this kind of problem out , but it really affects me alot , friends made a very very huge impact in my life , and certainly plays an important role in my life . I hope i'll get this problem solved out soon . And if you do read this , you guys should know who you are , you were not there when i needed you most , you gave me empty promises , but i still wanna say , i treasure you .

2010-01-08T00:53:00.004+08:00

heart drawn using sparklers.[thanks SHERYL CHOO for this picture]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ! blog dead already ! so am here to update ! well , school started , nothing much , commontest results are rather disappointing , but can only blame myself for studying enough . well , had been hitting club and staying up late in the night , causing pimple outbreak lah ! spend last years Christmas and this year's countdown on a rather quiet way , simple ones , but fun ! ah , nothing to blog about already , BYE ! MISS ME LOTS PLEASE ! :D

P.S / hanging out with friends is the best lahs !

why send me that text that makes my heart melt ,
why did you tell me all those stuffs when you dont even bother to explain?
why did you wanna do this?
made me think alot ,
but i also thank you , for motivating me to be happier from that moment onwards,
i hope you are happy with jerome , but beware of something call karma , god bless you, NOT.

2010-01-02T04:16:00.003+08:00

hellooooooooooooo! its a brand new year ! hope 2010 will be a much much better year for me ! stop feeling moody all the time is my priority ! and next is to build my my selfconfidence . alright guys ! shall end here ! :D happy new year ! (:

2009-12-26T02:16:00.004+08:00

IM UPDATING NOW CAUSE I KNOW CHUABINNI IS GOING TO STALK MY BLOG !

HELLO BINNI!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

2009-12-12T01:46:00.002+08:00

wilson;isaac

hellooooooooooo! commontest coming ! need ti mug really hard for it ! cause i dont know anything ! ): study study study ! just came back from lepak session with dickson , zhenwei and jason , gonna start mugging now (:

i told you how i felt,
i dont wish to have you,
just want you to know how i feel,
no lies or secret between me and you,
just because i love you. (:

2009-12-04T01:52:00.002+08:00

FML.

ever had a situation , whereby tons of problems come to you in a certain time ? im experiencing this now , lots of problems come pouring to me within a short time , i feel very helpless , very weak , totally have no solution to any problems at all . despite all these , somethings disappoints me more . a figure at home , whom you call father , should be someone that solves all your problem , giving you courage , giving you encouragement , giving you a sense of security , and letting you live in an problem free environment , i hate to say this , but my life , totally suck , all i've mentioned , my father did not provide me it , i don't blame him , i shoul not take all these for granted , but what im sad and disappoint about is , when problem arise , and it have sort of connections to me , he pushes it to me , is this what a father should do ? is this what i deserve ? other family might have their own problem , but mine , i don't think others have it . if i were to end my life one day , without a doubt , the cause will be him , my life is like a mess partially because of him , and mainly myself . i feel as if both hands are cuffed up , both legs have huge weights tieing onto it , i can do nothing , totally nothing , helpless and being given up on . maybe ending my life is and relief to him , maybe i really should , im worthless anyway . maybe i really should end my life . i really should .

2009-11-25T20:31:00.002+08:00

rafiq ; isaac

went to eg2 tutorial this morning , ended up sleeping through the whole tutorial -.- went to debrief session after that , spoke alot about how i felt and such , atmosphere was rather on the sad side :\ went to have lunch at malan place after that , then to library with rafiq to do our CATS slides , he went off at around 3.30pm , so i studied alone while waiting for ryan and dickson to study together m in the end we went to bball , hahas ! bused home aftermath . just reached home ! and still got EMAT 1 thousand word report to do ):

promise me you wont
misuse my trust again will you ?

2009-11-24T00:43:00.002+08:00

leroy ; isaac

hi people ! well , school today , was alright , went for poly-limpics playoffs today after class , did not manage to get to the poly-limpics games , was disappointed though , but i did my best , i hope you saw us playing (: so many reports , so little time ! sigh !

sometimes i really think alot about you.

2009-11-23T23:44:00.001+08:00

2009-11-23T23:41:00.001+08:00

2009-11-23T01:21:00.003+08:00

Sir Stamford Raffles

ahhhhh! today , went to cut and dye hair in the noon , then went to 515 for lunch then basketball till night ! dota a few rounds , chat on msn and stuffs ! and here i am blogging ! tomorrow there is playoffs for ME divisions poly-limpic teams for futsal , gonna run my fastest and try my hardest , for you my friend , i will . anyway , sleep early people , sick season! try to drink more water ! nights ! ciaos !

2009-11-20T00:43:00.002+08:00

i regret i my actions , sincerely , i apologies , i hope you will forgive me .

i see the fragile in life , one could simply lose it anytime , i never knew this until i learn the fact , i dont know how to react when i heard of the news , i was shocked , alot of things and images came back to me , even though we are not close friends , but still we are friends and classmates . i really hope things are not this way , but reality have to be faced , i hope you are now back to lord , safe and sound in another place , farewell , rest in peace , my friend .

2009-11-19T01:43:00.002+08:00

look at our super white teeth! w/ dickson and cherie (:

normal day ~ woke up , use lappy and stuffs , went to 515 to meet dickson and mingyuan in the noon , when i reach there they say they saw christopher lee ( Lee Ming Shun ) so we went to ask them to take picture :D went home after slacking at 515 for awhile , evening accompany dickson to cut hair , randomly went to cherie's house ! hahas ! chat alot (: nice ! tmr s/w then national museum ! sigh :\

tell me what to do !
over or not over ?
go for it or not ?
scared and confused !

2009-11-18T00:21:00.002+08:00

just finish dota-ing ! well , nothing to do already ! tomorrow elearning day also ! staying home , time for revision! hope i can hold on to what i say and revise my EG2 and AEL :x realised alot of people around my house keep stealing my net ! making my connection so lag ! ARGH! well , turning in soon i guess? CIAOS !

you saw me at bus interchange , why bother to say hi ? why cant you just
act as if you have not saw me ? you simple few sentence of words made me
think of our past , the hurt you brought to me , are you aware of this ?
i am always seeing you when i think i have forgotten you ! sigh ,
destined to not forget you ? perhaps ):

2009-11-17T10:38:00.004+08:00

wilson:D

hoho! tuesday today ! elearning ! but im in school ! for AEL's SLA ! went woodlands library after class yesterday ! wilson came ! went mac to eat first then to library to study ! well , we spend around 2 hours or so there , actually spending short hours on revision is more efficient ! :D but after that 2 hour ! went to mousehunt ! LOLS! well , library close at 9 ! so ! we went to the seats outside civic to chat , had some heart to heart chat and walked him to the train station (: truly treasure all my friends (: love you guys ! (L)

1015114141 (:

2009-11-14T15:01:00.003+08:00

Paranormal Activity

went to catch this movie after class yesterday with beekian and binni! not a bad show though , but you have to understand the storyline (: climax abit slowwwwwww , only comes at the very end of the show , everyone was screaming but i was laughing , sick? HAHAHS! went had dinner with them after movie , terence came too ! went to civic for some stalking after dinner , home after that! :D tonight going out with ryan dickson jason and co. its gonna be fun!

you gave me that scar :\

2009-11-12T13:53:00.002+08:00

nice max !

wooots ! in school library with wilson studying now ! (Y) hahas! need to start revising for commontest! i wanna do better ! but this sem's module quite hard , nevermind , i CAN do it :D

raining super heavily now , dammmmmmm ~ super cold somemore , cui ttm! anyway s/w was rather fun today! nice but tiring ! hahahas ! alright , shall see whether i'll update again when i get home ! ciaos!

2009-11-11T20:31:00.002+08:00

YAMI YOGURT~
but i prefer frolicks though :\

met up with friends at bishan after school on monday ! :D chit chat and stuffs , went home around 11.30pm , this few days dam tired lahs ! dunno why ): yesterday went to meet bestie , she pass me my belated birthday present , sweet max ! thanks bestie ! then went to find bestfriend for some chat , took bus with bestie then home ! today eg2 class , cui max , dunno anything , quiz also 20/33 , cui ~ tmr s/w , ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! ):

2009-11-08T20:16:00.000+08:00

back from 515 ! night out with friends yesterday was totally a blast! nice nice , reached home at 8am + this morning , till now haven sleep , gonna go catch some sleep soon , ciaos people !

2009-11-05T20:09:00.001+08:00

the bruise i suffered during soccer for s&w , i swear its fcking painful , its swollen now , sighhhhhhhh , got test , have not study yet , tomorrow still have to go school earlier to do project , dead shit . hope my day gets better and better please?

2009-11-03T23:08:00.006+08:00

EDIT!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! eg2 test tomorrow ! and i dont know a shit , feeling so fucked up now !

2009-11-03T13:24:00.002+08:00

boohoo! this is when you are bored in school! hahahas ! projectmanagement now , stupid elective , so sucks ! 3 hours somemore , dying already la! shall post when i get home :D

2009-11-02T23:16:00.003+08:00

start of the weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! crap , was tired in class for a few moments , but luckily its practical for the whole day , so i manage to keep myself awake (: went home , rain like hell ! totally kill mood for anything , usual stuff when i reach home , chat on msn , fb , bath and then ! blog :D
P.S !

its tuesday tomorrow ! i get to meet bestie ! sweet ! (:

P.S.S

looking forward to friday ! get to meet bff for movies !

P.S.S.S

looking forward to the night out on saturday night with awesome peoples ! :D

2009-11-01T23:46:00.003+08:00

realized that my blog's dead for a long time , so since i am free , so just came by and post a short little post (: changed blogskin , changed blog song , relink and link peeps ( sorry for taking so long :b ) well , life been great , coming into semester 1.2 of my poly life , hoping to meet more people , learn to be sensible , and the most important ! study hard ! misses miss wong badly , wonder when will i have time to pay her a visit , hope as soon as possible (: last friday night , went out with poly classmates , met wonderful friends outside , hope to hang out with them more in future ! oh anyway ! tag more people ! ( i doubt anyone comes to my blog since its dead :\ )

blah ! saw you again , sigh , you said i changed , you said im different , but you did not know it was cause by you , sigh , this just keeps going going , promised to forget you , i hope i will do it ! but its so long ever since i said , hope i can really do it one day , scar that you gave me ): iqeelnylek .

2009-08-19T00:02:00.002+08:00

i need an eraser , to erase you away from my memory . i wanna forget you , but fate always make us bump into each other . what you have done to me i know , but you dont even know that i know. we were once so happy , and could end off peacefully . but truth always hurts , you make me feel everything is just like a movie , all acts , and nothing is real . you really left a deep deep scar inside me , reminding me of you all the time . if only that was not the truth , if only i did not know the truth , maybe i wont be so weird now . i dont blame you , i dont hate you , but i wanna know your reason for doing this . perhaps after telling me the reason , i might be able to get you off my mind , or maybe worst . you really brought me suffering , but i endure all these without letting you know . perhaps that 3 words is still in my heart for you ,

2009-08-05T00:38:00.001+08:00

exams coming soon ! study hard everyone :D chuawenshen ! goodluck for your coming O'levels ! (:

2009-07-07T23:54:00.001+08:00

different choices i make , end up in different result . the choice i make this time , i swear i will not regret . you made me make this choice , you dont cherish me , why do i need to cherish you ? karma my friend , beware of it .

2009-07-04T01:32:00.002+08:00

start with a big big smile ! :D

alright , had mte day today , woots , get to see seniors from year 2 and 3 , and also year 1 mates , nice day though (: had lots of fun , but extremely tired , bball , bbq , games , activities , lucky draw ! hope more of these will be organised , so classmates can bond more (:

alright , sad part of my post here now , well , recently , have been numbing myself with studies , had been working very hard for my commontest , i can say , this time , i worked even harder then O'level period , really numed myself , make myself stop thinking about relationships stuffs and get my priorities right ! when i see my results , im satisfied , but at the end of the day , im still lonely , back to the original me , felt rather envious of others when they go out in pairs , kindof like thinking , life is unfair huh ? why them and not me , i maybe ugly , nerdy , weak and stupid , but im human afterall , i have my feelings too , spare a little thought for me . ):

end off with a sad sad face D:

2009-06-15T21:07:00.002+08:00

:D start off with this big big smile !

sigh ! its so long already , news of you did not came to me , this is what i initially hoped for , but now , it changed somehow . im always like this , friends always say that i dont say what i feel , this is true , i dont like my feelings to be known by others , yet i blog it out , contradicting eh ? isaac is always like this ): thinking back , why must you do that to me ? give me the little glimps of false hope , make me fall so deep , then seal the exit , let me die inside . i dont hate you , but dont love you too , or maybe i do . you give me the wrong signal , to make me think the wrong way , i think , if u see this , you will most probably ignore , im nothing to you i suppose , worthless , rather be dumped aside right ? seeing you at places sometimes makes me think back , way back , joy , pain and love . you make me think , love is never for me , love will not happen on me , is that what you want me to think ? but after so much , the person i hate most is myself , cant let go of so many things , yet i complain that i suffer . i need a shoulder , a listening ear .

): end of with this sad sad face .

2009-06-13T13:15:00.000+08:00

finally commontest are over !!!!! finally have time to relax (:
hope everyone are coping well (: seeya ~

2009-05-20T22:04:00.002+08:00

hi guys(: just came to post since i have abit of free time (: poly life is busy lahs ! presentations , projects , quiz , test , omg , dieing already ! hahas , hope everyone is alright (: miss sec school very much , really very much , shall go back some days (: well see you guys soon !

2009-04-09T02:46:00.003+08:00

i know im not perfect , i know i ain't great , i have feelings also , im a human , not a toy , not an animal , i want to be treated like a friend , not as cold towards strangers , i may never be the best , but im willing to try , thats the least i should and can do , what u say affects me , i treat it as nothing in the surface to prevent my feelings being known by others , i suffer deep inside , without even anyone knowing , miss wong always says , no matter what i will always have my smile hang up on my face , that is just to mask my true self . give up or not , let go or not , walk away or not , i need time to think . maybe it was an mistake from that start , this should never happen or take place , should have given up u ever since then and treat it like a playful act of mine , slowly this way , i will get rid of u bits by bits from my mind , from my heart , and out of my body , but still , deep in me , i hope , one chance can be given to me , till then , i don't think there is even a glimps of hope .
life for me , has always been like this , failure throughout .

2009-01-26T03:30:00.003+08:00

hi guys(; happy lunar new year (; may those whom have found their other half last long , and those who have not , good luck in finding ! (; cheers !

oh ps ;

鬼鬼<3

2009-01-15T20:19:00.003+08:00

hi guys(; well , i've submitted my courses already , if u guys wann know , heres the courses i choose .

dun ask anymore .

2009-01-13T14:15:00.001+08:00

hi guys(; got back my results , im satisfied , though my art disappoints me , well , getting these results are good enough already (;

bye love );

2009-01-01T13:13:00.001+08:00

hi guys (: its been long since i post , some other days bahs ? cause im rushing for work now , just came to say ,

HAPPY NEW YEAR !

its been very long since i see
you , i hope you are fine when
school starts , study hard ,
get good grades (; ily

2008-12-25T03:26:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE !

i cant forget you ,
and i think i never will .
maybe all shall end very soon ,
i hope , i cant let you go (:
Love nomore

2008-11-27T03:49:00.003+08:00

hi guy(; well , holidays now , have been doing nothing but playing comp at home , getting a job soon , need cash ~ to go for shopping spree ~~~~~~~~ hahas , well ,time to enjoy my life now after olevels , meet up with friends , crap with them is a must ! well , shall upload prom night pics in this coming days (; wait for it , hahas . alright , its late now , night guys ~

for me , and for you .
for once i ask ,
please , can you be mine ?

2008-11-11T21:24:00.003+08:00

hi guys (; end of my secondary school life , well , i've got mixed feelings , have to say goodbye to wonderful teachers , say goodbye to canteen vendors , but im happy that i have finally graduated from this school , though my grades will not be great , but im sure it wont be poor either (; lets just wait for the results , many teachers to thank , shall wait for the day we got out result then i thanks them (; well , im starting to do what i wan now , learning instruments , get a job , go on shopping spree , enjoy late night outings with friends , thats all a must (; anyway , goodbye to books , atleast till next year february or march (; goodbye wgs , and im happy that i am finally leaving you ;D

graduated from school , that means ,
the chance to see you will almost be
equal to zero , but nevermind , i can
always recall you face , smile , laughter
inside me (; bye to you , the one i love <\3

and miss wong , im sure u will be looking at this post -.- where is my birthday celebration ! ROARS !

2008-11-02T00:15:00.004+08:00

hi guys (; well , 2 more papers to the end of olevels , im in slacking mode already . ZZZ . gonna go study now , byeeeeee ~

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY NICOLAS !

Love is a game of two ,
consisting of me and also you ,
are you willing to play this game ,
and be my you ?

2008-10-21T21:30:00.002+08:00

hi guys (; well , olevels have started , 3 papers down , and 7 more to go . i hope it ends fast , im tired of studying , but still , have to chiong for the sake of good results , idk why am i blogging and wasting time -.- but nevermind , i will do my best for olevels , friends , wait for me ! 11.11.2008 , I WILL BE FREE !

haiis , totally gave up on love ,
im glad that there is studies
to numb me for this period of time .
i hope you will be happy (; and
find someone that loves you soon
FbxYvat ; ily .

2008-10-09T22:26:00.002+08:00

hi guys (; 11 days to first written paper , exactly 1 more week to practical , need to study alot alot alot , revise alot alot already (;

well , nothing seems really well
these days , prepared for the worst ,
and im just hoping for the better ,
in both love and studies . you ,
is all i want and need .

2008-10-02T23:06:00.002+08:00

hi guy(; comp finally ok already , but still wont be online much , cause left 18 more days to olevels ,
so have to revise alot ler (; well , just relinked and linked the people , shall go sleep now , nights ! (;

i feel that , things are not
getting any better , just worse ,
i hope relationship with you
will get better , dont have to be closer ,
remain as it is will do (; ily .

2008-09-21T21:09:00.002+08:00

hi guys (; cant blog much , my desktop is down with virus , lazy to deal with it , but good for me also , one distraction less , prelim over , results out , one word , disappointing . put in so much effort , but results are so bad , well , maybe thats really my standard , just hope i can get into a poly , hopefully . well , recently thought of many things , want to say sorry to some teachers that i've let down for this prelim ,
mr billy , im sorry ,
ms wong , im sorry ,
mr cheng , im sorry ,
mr tan , im sorry ,
ms chee , im sorry ,
mrs tan , im sorry ,
张老师 , im sorry ,
im disappointed with myself , let alone you teachers , i know some teachers that taught me before but not teaching me now have high hopes on me , but i let them down , i undersand your disappointment in me this time , i hope i will do well enough and do not let you guys down for olevel .

我知道爱不能够强求，

但是爱你我并没有错，

我也有试着去不爱你，

但是我做不到，

只希望你能够开心，

这样我也会比较容易放弃。

2008-09-15T12:12:00.000+08:00

comp tio virus , ZZZ will not be online much , bye guys !

2008-09-14T22:41:00.002+08:00

hi guys (; have not blogged for few days , been studying lahs (; well , today nothing much , just slacked the whole day , slept in the afternoon after lunch , hweeliang came over after dinner , intended to study , but end up slacking , haas ! alright , gonna go revise some physics and chemistry already , bye guys ! (;

tempted by you again adn again ,
i wanna tell you how i feel , but
i cant , shall keep it to myself forever .

2008-09-11T22:45:00.002+08:00

thanks everyone for the birthday tag , comment on friendster , sms , msn , verbally or even just a handshake , i truly appreciate it , thanks everyone once again . i love every single one of you (;

my wishes , will it come true ?
i hope my 3 simple wish will ,
especially the 3rd one , please ,
make it happen );

2008-09-11T00:00:00.001+08:00

12am exactly (;
happy birthday to you ,
happy birthday to you ,
happy birthday to isaac ,
happy birthday to you .

hope nothing goes wrong ,
and my 3 little wish will
come true , simple bday (;

2008-09-10T22:34:00.002+08:00

hi guys (; have been really studying this few days for prelim , hope my little hardwork will pay off alittle , i dont need fantastic results , just average will do , well , just finished my physics revision , hope i will do well tomorrow (; good luck to all having olevels and prelim this year , cheers (;

isaac neo , please stop
being so naive , you are
not wanted by love , just
fuck off .

2008-09-04T00:19:00.002+08:00

hi guys (; went to have breakfast with andy and hweeliang in the morning , walked to school , had ss , followed by maths , went to viva to have dinner? with mr billy , thanks mr billy for driving us there (; went home , slacked watch tv , wanted to revise on other subjects or do art , but was really tired , so in the end slack in front of comp , and mommy , thanks for the lunar birthday maggie mee with 2 boiled eggs ! tasted so nice , thank you mommy ! (; ily .

more and more apart , looks
like even if i dont wanna give up ,
i also have to , things are not going
well for me , please please please ,
at this crucial time , please make sure
nothing happen , i wan good results for olevels ,
i dont wanna break down at this time . love
was always not my type of game i guess .

2008-09-02T23:57:00.002+08:00

hi guys(: just came back from 888 , had supper with jab , dar , and hl . went to fitness corner to slack awhile with them after supper , its been a long time since we chatted ehs ? (: nothing much today also was just slacking at home , did a tiny little bit of art , nothing much , still have lessons tomorrow (; nights guys !

i know im not handsome ,
nor am i cute , but , falling
in love with you is not a crime ,
right ? if i know , loving you
will be so painful , u think i
would want this ? i tried to
resist loving you , but i failed .
but i hope the feeling will fade away
slowly bahs , cause im aware that ,
to you , im nothing at all . NOTHING
oh god , im hurt , please , take away love
from me , i dont wanna them anymore .

2008-09-01T00:30:00.002+08:00

hi guys (; nothing much today , went to woodlands centre to play pool , went for lunch then after that to my house to study , and im watching blade trinity with dar and hl at my study room now , alright guys , have lesson on chem tomorrow , nights ! gonna go catch blade ;b

tired and worn out ,
slowly letting go of everything
in my mind , losing my grip
onto love , goodbye love .

2008-08-31T01:00:00.003+08:00

hi guys(; slept till 3+ today , woke up , went over to grandmother's house to prepare for bbq at night (; bbq and stuffs at night , had a real nice chat with those adults , chatting with them are great man , they tell me things that i dont know , atleast i learn something today (; reach home no long ago (;

HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY ANTJE ONG !

well , nothing really goes
right for me , im slowly losing
my motivation , for both studies
and love , everything makes me
so tired , my miss right ,
where are you ? i need you .

2008-08-27T23:34:00.001+08:00

Are you really a emo Your Result: Kinda emo You are kinda emo. you do not always dress and act like it but on occasions. you still like all the darkness and such but are not drawn into the way full emos are. Being kinda emo is not a bad thing. you are what you are.
Sad Emo
You are awsome emo
Stupid emo
Are you really a emo Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

well , the table says it all (; nights guy !

i cant help but keep
on thinking of you ,
pretty girl , i want you ,
i need you , i miss you ,
ILOVEYOU .

2008-08-25T22:13:00.003+08:00

hi guys(; nothing much during lessons today , as per normal , nothing special , went home prepared , then went to andy's house , jam a little and then off to night class in school . went home at about 8.45pm , reached home , bathed and all that (; seriously , i feel that this prelim , i will flunk , although i have put in effort , but personally i dont think is enough , hope that this will serve as a wake up call to me , ISAAC NEO ! STUDY LAHS ! (; and also , im mentally tired , real tired , one day i will break down );

pretty sure that
im going to give up le
bahs , no point hanging
on ehs ? shall move on .
for now , studies is my
priority , i wan good results ,
but im not putting in enough
effort , how contradicting
am i ? i feel so useless );

2008-08-22T23:12:00.003+08:00

hi guys(; well , lessons as per normal , nothing much , had physics practical practice , then head to andy's house , played awhile of guitar , then went home , changed , went to hweeliang's house t study , had dinner with them and here i am now (;

we rocks (;

haiis , i think i will
give up bahs , really
seems to be hopeless
already ? forget it bahs .
im fated to be alone .

2008-08-20T22:48:00.002+08:00

hi guys(; nothing much today . had lessons as per normal , nothing much , after school , no choice , so slacked in class , played catching with friends , haas ! went to library to do maths , reach home at about 7 , had dinner , bathed , and im gonna go to bed now ! seeya guys in school tomorrow ~

you ! you ! you !
its always you that
revolves around
in my mind , please ,
get out will you ? im
trying real hard to make
me not love you , i dont want
things like kelynleeqi to
happen again , overall ,
im just afraid to get hurt .

2008-08-18T22:03:00.003+08:00

hi guys(; nothing much today , lessons as per normal , well , i've done 5/8 of my prep boards , 3 more and im getting this heavy stone away from my shoulder ! did physics homework with classmates in my hse , crapped alot , then here i am (; O'level english oral tomorrow , hope i dont get difficult topics again like chinese de , wish me luck bahs ! (;

life is indeed
very difficult , what
you want , you may
not get . love is a great
example . haiis );
wheres mine ?

2008-08-16T23:06:00.003+08:00

hi guys(; went to kianwee father's bakery today , pray and stuffs , had fun man , played poker cards , i lost a few rounds , drank 3 cups or beer , zzz , stomach bloated with beer can ! damn full lahs , went to cwp , walk walk , then went back home (;

L.O.V.E
the word i tried to
say to you but i cant ,
it have been stucked
inside my mouth for
a long time . ily .

2008-08-16T00:06:00.003+08:00

hi guys(; lessons are normal , just that something make me pekchek -.- then went to andy's house studied alittle , had dinner and then went home (;

what we say today will be with us forever , i believe , the 6 of us will peservere , and not forgetting our initial goals , we do what we want , not what others want , we will be together as one , i truely believe in that .

i think im going
to give up bahs ,
since it obvious
that we are
impossible , but
i truly love you .
FbxYvat<3

2008-08-13T22:18:00.002+08:00

hi guys(; lesson as per normal , nothing much today , went for geography choice after school , and then slept in class for an hour before going for the maths 2hour program , went home at about 630m pm . went home , rot and do nothing , rofl ! seeya guys tml ~

words are stucked in my
mouth , i dont know how
to say it out , i may be giving
up bahs , since i think
it is hopeless between
us . im back to square
one );

2008-08-12T21:48:00.002+08:00

hi guys(; its 12th august today , got back my olevel mother tongue result , did better then my expectation , owe it all to the chinese teachers . went for art choice after school , had fun (; went to grandmother's house for dinner and then back home (; and guys , grats on your results , for those who is retaking , jiayous , you all can do it (;

well , perhaps , at this
point of time , love
should not be what
i am seeking for
but should be academic
results , get to a poly
before i talk about love .